Chapter Two

Every artists have their inspirations, their muse, their obsessions that creates art from their perspective. Some of their arts connects to their viewers or listeners or fans. Some just plain weird art that only the artist can understand. Each and every most beautiful songs in the world, the popular world, was created because of a woman or caused by a woman. That is their inspiration, their muse, the woman they love or the woman that broke their heart. I would say songwriters are the most brilliant composers on earth. They put down words together that would sound really well with the chords they play. Some are just the most romantic and beautiful words that you have ever heard. It is like a poem played along with melody. That is just called music. Well I wouldn't say that every music that has words are the best ones, Mozart was brilliant and so was Beethoven. I do pay full respect for them as they composed some of the most world famous music of all time. If they are still alive by now, they would be more popular than the any rock stars out there. Now, I know for sure that they, Mozart and Beethoven, were also inspired by something or someone to composed that had became world famous. Even though Beethoven was never married I believed that he fell in love with the music itself, may be that is why the music is so pure as his love to the music. It is as if he found his holy grail and showed it to the whole world to hear.

Sometimes I fear of loosing hope, the one that keeps me standing on my feet. Hope from others or from myself, does it matter? May be for some. Faith, would be one. From religion that was introduced to me since I was born. I do still believe in God, but do living the regulations of the organization that believes God? I'm still not sure. If I'm loosing hope or believe in religion would that mean I'm loosing my faith? Now if I'm loosing my faith on the biggest thing that ever being introduced to me in my life, would I be loosing faith that easily to something else that I'm suppose to commit? Like my job or a relationship. I wonder about this sometimes. Could there be a connection between these behavior? I'm guessing may be. I know that I am lazy as hell but when something interest me or gets me exited I would go all the way, without hesitation. I do realize that most of the times I would postpone things as far as I could so that I could do them later. Like doing my paper work in the office for example. I would do the other stuff first then when the sun about to set I would finish up the paper work, may be it's the organizing that I hate. Paper work is just the last thing I wanna do for anything. Even while I'm learning new songs for the guitar part I would stop half way if it gets too difficult for me. Then the song would just hang halfway. That's why I can play lots of songs but not complete. There are more of these kind of things that just pile up inside my head. Laziness is one of them. Would these be symptoms of loosing my hopes? It could lead on loosing my dreams doesn't it?

What is that thing that keeps beating inside of all of us? The heart. It's a very complex organ of which makes our blood runs through our veins and make everything running smooth. It is the hardest muscle in our body. I would say it is the softest side of our system. You can make it feel like it's beating a thousand miles per hour in a matter of seconds by just staring at the eye of your significant other. I always wonder about this. What is it that drives ourselves to be this crazy? The chemicals in our body is just too difficult to understand for us. Sometimes it is just too unbearable to contain, too complicated to comprehend. A 12 years old figuring out what's his purpose in life is like the question of his life. Dazed and confused about why he couldn't understand the people around him, culture shocked about his surrounding at the school ground when everyone has an ipod but he doesn't. Trying to figure out what is that feeling when the a girl, other than his mother or related people, touch his hands for the first time. A few years later his feelings get even more exhilarating when he found out about puberty. He woke up with a stain on his shorts. But he felt a good wake. Then he discovers interest in girls, starts to talk to them differently, more pleasing other than mocking, gets teases from his guy friends about being closer to girls than them. Comes in the telephone conversation. Hogging the one handed telecommunication from six to nine every night. When everyone in the house falls asleep he would wake up at 11, which past his bedtime, and starts calling again from his room until 3am. The next day waking up with baggy eyes and gives excuse to the teacher that he was doing research for the school project over the night. Friday night is just around the corner. He starts looking for the perfect movie to watch at the cinema. He would plan ahead of time. The cinema halls could be half an hour ride from his house but he cycled instead to save money for that fast food dinner he planned. Take down the movie name and the show time, he might even book for a seat. Comes in Thursday, calls in the girl, asking if she's free after school on Friday and arrange for a meeting, “Yea, I'm free. Wanna have dinner first?” BANG! He's at the highest place that any man could ever be at that second. His heart pumps a million miles per second. He becomes delusional, everything else around him is just an imagination, everyone else is just a passer by. Sometimes everything else are just a blur but only she's in focus.